I've had a few conversations in the last week around this subject and feel the need to work through and share my (not the) answer in the midst of this battleground.
And battleground it is. Someone once explained to me, using Revelation 18:23, that the words 'sorcery' and 'drugs' come from the same root meaning. Even after only a few years of working with adults and youth on drugs, I have to acknowledge that this is one of the biggest tools the enemy uses to lead people astray. Watching an addict is like seeing someone literally self-destruct; chaotic choices, broken bodies, fragmented families, shattered spirits. Actually, one of the first questions I have for God when I get to heaven, is why did He create and allow drugs when they cause so much wreckage?
So, I am totally against the use of drugs. But, I don't stand up on my soapbox and say all this when I'm with my mentees or the guys at LifeXchange and they're telling me about their plans to get wasted on the weekend, staying up all night and maybe even drinking right through Friday evening to Monday morning. I was sharing this with a friend the other day and she asked me if anyone ever teaches them not to do drugs (or abuse alcohol). My response was No. And here's a few reasons why...
One. When I was growing up, I never saw the point of tidying my room. (Don't worry I'm going somewhere with this...) My mom clearly did see a point, and frequently told (or made) me do it. I can still hear echoes of her voice now, 'How many times do I have to tell you to make your bed/put your dirty clothes away/tidy your desk' etc. etc. But no matter how many times she said it, it never really motivated me to go and do it. Luckily, as a parent she had other ways of motivating me! My argument was always, it's MY room, why do YOU care - just shut the door and don't come in if it offends you?! I'm sure many teenagers out there sympathise with me. And that's how I carried on...UNTIL...I reached the age where I had friends over and we were too 'cool' to hang out in the lounge with everyone else and needed the 'privacy' and sanctuary of my room. Suddenly, clear floor space and a neat bed became very relevant! There was also that one time, when I found the green, spongy remains of an unidentifable food item under a pile of clothes... Again, another very relevant reason for picking up my things and putting them away on a regular basis!! I think you can see my point is the relevant-ness of what is said and the reasons for why I changed my behaviour.
Right now, my mentees are 'having fun' on the weekend. By me telling them not to do what they are planning to do, and clearly want to do, I'm just going to sound like a nagging mom. What I might say is not relevant and clearly isn't going to provide any motivation for them to change.
Two. The speck-plank factor from Matthew 7:4. Before diving in headfirst to point out someone else's wrong behaviour I need to do a little introspection first. Now, it's easy for me to say I don't do drugs so no problem for me to go around telling others not to as well. But, when I look a little deeper into the motivations behind my actions things start getting a lot greyer. I mean, why do people use drugs? Boredom? Peer pressure? Hopelessness? The list goes on. And what do I find myself getting up to in those same situations? While it may not be snorting a line of crack or lighting up a joint, I can't say that I have never followed temptation or made the right choices of what to do every time. So before jumping into judgment mode, I recognise that there are things I need to sort out with my own life and God first. And as I'm going about doing this, I am going to get a lot better at knowing how to help someone else out in a similar situation.
And three. I believe that 99% of people abusing drugs already know that it is not a good thing to do. In fact I would argue that for young adults it's a big part of the reason why they are in that scene in the first place! So, I am pretty much wasting my breath by telling them that they 'shouldn't do that because it's wrong'. I think there is definitely a place for educating people on the harmful and negative effects of drug abuse, however. But again, the relevancy of that needs to be considered for each individual. Otherwise, it will be like water off a duck's back, nothing they haven't heard before, and it 'probably won't happen to them'. (Yeah, don't try to understand the logic in that last one! But since when are all of our choices 100% logical anyway!) For example, another friend told me about a soccer ministry they are involved in and how cool it was to point out to the guys in training the differences in fitness levels based on their smoking habits. <-See, a real life practical reason to motivate them to change their behaviour!
From most people's responses to this issue, I think many people would stop at explaining that doing drugs is wrong and believe that that's enough to help someone change their ways. I disagree muchly. Making someone aware of a weakness or failing is merely the first step of a journey that they need to take on their route to holiness. And I would argue that if you're going to start them on that road, then you need to carry on walking beside them for a few more steps at least...
Right, so that's why I don't tell people to stop abusing drugs. But that doesn't mean I do nothing.
My solution, as with most things these days if you regularly read this blog, is mentoring! For me, mentoring is coming alongside someone and showing them a better way. It's not teaching, it's real life. It's stepping into the messy chaos and walking that journey with someone to try and unravel a little of it. And although today I'm not pointing out the 'very bad/naughty/wrong' choices my mentees might be making, there will come a point when the next step we take together is maybe getting a regular job that requires them to be awake and rested at the beginning of the week. Suddenly, their motivation to make some changes increases. Assuming this job is something that they really want to do!
It's about being real. Not standing up at the front and speaking out against everything that's wrong in the world and with people. That just puts a huge distance between 'us' and 'them'. If I look at Jesus' example, his very first miracle was at a party, where I'm pretty sure there was a lot of drinking and merrymaking. And when he hears that the wine is running out, does he keep himself apart and tell everyone off and explain that it's a good thing? No, in fact, he does the total opposite and provides the very best wine to save the day and make the party that much better!
It makes me think of a colleague who likes to tell the drug dealers in Ocean View that they are aiming too small in their 'business'. They should think national or international drug-dealer-ship! He told me he does it because he wants them to realize that they have so much more potential than what they are settling for in their lives. It's definitely not the usual response the guys get from adults!
I think it's great! Why not inspire them? And as they realize that they have more to offer, I would hope that they would come to the realization that actually they are better than drug-dealer-ship anyway!
But enough of what I think. What do you think? As I said, I don't know much about what using drugs is like, so tell me if you think I'm completely off the mark!
Lots of time spent thinking and engaging with real world people behind this post. I wonder how many critics have actually spoken with drug users more than once or twice? I wonder how many people who would offer better advice escape from life themselves with alcohol, or reading, or web surfing? I read another good article recently, where the writer said that he felt it came down to "Why?". Why do we do what we do, when we know it is self-destructive, or at least, not a good choice? And only when we understand what we are running from is there a chance that we might decide that it would be better to try and resolve the problem. In the meanwhile, we Christians should keep the "speck/plank factor" in mind, and be there with people whom God cares about, rather than criticising or correcting from the sidelines. Nice post, Tammy!
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