It's official. I'm finally-in-real-life-wow-this-is-actually-happening mentoring a young person!
I've been talking the talk and now it's time to walk the walk. And after hours of thought, prayer, training and workshops transforming me into the perfect mentor, it's going to go so easily and flawlessly. Said no one ever I bet!
Yeah...so it's not like that. But, it IS exciting to think about what the next two years will bring. How both of us are going to learn and grow...
And it's not that hard to make a difference in someone's life. I mean it. Sometimes we can build up these expectations of who and what we have to be like in order to really help someone. Or even what the help has to look and be like. But that is not the case. Something I learned as I have been more involved with the mentoring side of things at LifeXchange has been eye-opening and freeing to me.
We, at LifeXchange, don't 'thumbsuck', as a colleague likes to say. Our work is based on study and research and evidence-based outcomes. One thing we struggle with in this regard and coming from our approach of holistic life transformation is how do we actually measure change in someone's life? Maybe we have succeeded when they are no longer using drugs? Or no longer part of a gang? Or when they have graduated with their matric? Each of these things will have a completely different meaning and may be a tiny step or a huge mountain that that person has overcome so how can we compare or measure across this spectrum?
Well, looking at the research, the answer is we don't! Instead, we look at the mentor side of things. We have learned that there are just four things that will guarantee that a positive impact has been made on the mentee's life. And we have seen this in the mentoring partnerships at LifeXchange already. I have seen it with my own eyes.
So what are these four things? If you're anything like me you're thinking they're a complex list of items about what the mentor should and shouldn't be doing, having or saying. Well, I'll tell you what they are and you can let me know what you think!
Number 1: Frequency = the more often and regularly a mentor spends time with their mentee, the more impact there will be.
Number 2: Duration = the longer the time a mentor spends with their mentee at each session, the more impact there will be.
Number 3: Consistency = the more the mentor uses the time constructively - following up on previous sessions and setting goals for future, the more impact there will be.
Number 4: Emotional Connection = the more the mentor is involved in the relationship, the more impact there will be. (You can argue that the previous three points will build this point naturally)
That's it. That's all.
I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty simple. I like to bring it down to just two statements. BE THERE and BE PRESENT. All you need to make a difference in someone's life. You don't need to be a perfect person. You don't need to have such and such qualification or all this experience and all that training. You need to make an effort to be there in a person's life, and along with that be present when you are with them. Take an interest, get involved, walk alongside them in whatever they are facing. And this will bring fruit.
In fact, when you think about it, it's as simple as Jesus command: 'Love one another.' (John 13:34-35)
Yeah...so I'm going to take it one step at a time and keep coming back to this to remind myself along the way.
What about you? Can you walk the walk? What's stopping you? Honestly, I want to know - it will help us to understand how to get more mentors...
