It's as easy as...

It's official. I'm finally-in-real-life-wow-this-is-actually-happening mentoring a young person!

I've been talking the talk and now it's time to walk the walk. And after hours of thought, prayer, training and workshops transforming me into the perfect mentor, it's going to go so easily and flawlessly. Said no one ever I bet!

Yeah...so it's not like that. But, it IS exciting to think about what the next two years will bring. How both of us are going to learn and grow...

And it's not that hard to make a difference in someone's life. I mean it. Sometimes we can build up these expectations of who and what we have to be like in order to really help someone. Or even what the help has to look and be like. But that is not the case. Something I learned as I have been more involved with the mentoring side of things at LifeXchange has been eye-opening and freeing to me.

We, at LifeXchange, don't 'thumbsuck', as a colleague likes to say. Our work is based on study and research and evidence-based outcomes. One thing we struggle with in this regard and coming from our approach of holistic life transformation is how do we actually measure change in someone's life? Maybe we have succeeded when they are no longer using drugs? Or no longer part of a gang? Or when they have graduated with their matric? Each of these things will have a completely different meaning and may be a tiny step or a huge mountain that that person has overcome so how can we compare or measure across this spectrum?

Well, looking at the research, the answer is we don't! Instead, we look at the mentor side of things. We have learned that there are just four things that will guarantee that a positive impact has been made on the mentee's life. And we have seen this in the mentoring partnerships at LifeXchange already. I have seen it with my own eyes.

So what are these four things? If you're anything like me you're thinking they're a complex list of items about what the mentor should and shouldn't be doing, having or saying. Well, I'll tell you what they are and you can let me know what you think!

Number 1: Frequency = the more often and regularly a mentor spends time with their mentee, the more impact there will be.

Number 2: Duration = the longer the time a mentor spends with their mentee at each session, the more impact there will be.

Number 3: Consistency = the more the mentor uses the time constructively - following up on previous sessions and setting goals for future, the more impact there will be.

Number 4: Emotional Connection = the more the mentor is involved in the relationship, the more impact there will be. (You can argue that the previous three points will build this point naturally)

That's it. That's all.

I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty simple. I like to bring it down to just two statements. BE THERE and BE PRESENT. All you need to make a difference in someone's life. You don't need to be a perfect person. You don't need to have such and such qualification or all this experience and all that training. You need to make an effort to be there in a person's life, and along with that be present when you are with them. Take an interest, get involved, walk alongside them in whatever they are facing. And this will bring fruit.

In fact, when you think about it, it's as simple as Jesus command: 'Love one another.' (John 13:34-35)

Yeah...so I'm going to take it one step at a time and keep coming back to this to remind myself along the way.

What about you? Can you walk the walk? What's stopping you? Honestly, I want to know - it will help us to understand how to get more mentors...

Mandela Day (Part 2)

Happy Mandela Day everyone! And Happy 95th Birthday Madiba!

With all the talk going around about whether he will be alive after today, and what will happen if he's not, I feel the need to post this article.

"Many middle-class people harbour deep fears that a majority-ruled South Africa cannot prosper."

Just putting that challenge out there to all my fellow South Africans...

Mandela Day (Part 1)

It's Mandela Day tomorrow! AKA Nelson Mandela's 95th Birthday!

And the question everyone's asking is, 'What are you going to do for your 67 minutes?'

For anyone who doesn't know, it's become a tradition that to celebrate Madiba's birthday everyone in the nation is called to give 67 minutes of their time and energy into helping others, i.e. through a project in their community. Don't ask me when or how this tradition came about, or even why it's 67 minutes though!

So, we at LifeXchange asked our guys the question - specifically, what have they noticed as a need in Ocean View that we can do something about? And their answer was... nothing. NOTHING.

Okay, to be fair, after pushing them a bit more to think they did come up with a few unrealistic suggestions (like a soup kitchen to feed everyone!), but clearly their hearts weren't into any of them really.

Now, the fabulous IIE LifeXchange training courses I've just done, tell me that the guys are blinded to the situation in their own neighbourhood. They've got used to seeing the rubbish lying around and young children playing in it, the wasted, passed-out men or boys against gang-graffitied walls, the dying or empty flowerbeds that show previous attempts to pretty up a corner yard, and even the sounds and sights of gunshots and murders on the weekend. Apparently, it only takes three days to get used to anything. You may not accept it, but without even realising it, you no longer notice it.

And, our LifeXchange team working the guys, tells me that it's an image issue. They have a certain reputation they have to keep up as youth in their community. And, while, hopefully, for our guys it's no longer about being in the Bad Boys or Rudeboys  or any of the other gangs, it's still 'not cool' to be seen picking up litter or gardening or things like that.

But, looking into my own heart tells me it's a mindset issue. Example: A while ago I made the decision to give lifts to people (or just women, really) who are needing to hitch a ride in my direction. As a generosity thing. I have a car all to myself - they don't - why don't I help them out? I say this, but in reality I do this very seldom, despite the fact that everyday I pass at least a handful of people along my route to work. So, what's the disconnect? Most times, I'm already passed them before I even think about possibly stopping. I have a lot on my mind as I'm driving, clearly. Kind of like life! So, I have learned that I have to tell myself every time (or those times I'm not already late for something!) I get in the car to look out for people who might need a lift along the way. And so...the same applies to life, I believe. We can say what we like to ourselves, but there's some point when we have to be actively looking or intentional about what reaching out to people to actually make what we say happen.

Whether it's one or all three of these reasons getting in the way, it's still disappointing that the guys came up with nothing to do for tomorrow. Still, we're working on growing generosity in their lives. And in my own life. And it doesn't have to only happen tomorrow! There are loads more opportunities on a daily basis that we can jump into. If we're really looking...

Catching the Beat

It's a good thing my Bible is a greyish white colour so you can't see the dust gathering on it at times. Today was one of those days when I had to blow before opening it... Yes, I know I'm a terrible Christian...or am I?? But honestly, it has been a few days since I started the day with God.

I have a whole host of excuses, that really don't stand up when I actually examine them: I've been tired, I'm not properly awake yet, I'll just check facebook or the news first, and the winner... I'll do it later, when I'm more awake/feel like it etc. etc. Well, suprisingly, 'later' never came!

The thing is, I don't know what happened. Last week I was so into my quiet times. My alarm would go off and I almost couldn't wait to grab my Bible and get into God's Word and see what He had to say for the day. And it was such a good week, where things just flowed. I flowed. I was able to be present with people and somehow say the right things at the right times. But it wasn't even about that, it was kind of like a natural outpouring of an inner joy, as far as I can describe it.

Then today happened. A bad day. Nothing major, but more like the kind of day that Daniel Powter sang about. A day where I was just off. My maths lesson was difficult and I had to keep repeating myself because I wasn't explaining things right for the guys. And there were several cringeworthy moments where I would think like five seconds later, 'Did I really just say that?!' In short, I was more like Albert dancing in Hitch! No more of that smoothness, those 'unforced rhythms of grace' that Jesus talks about. I found myself being down about myself. Down about the people around me. Just plain down and miserable by the end of the day.

And then I went to that passage in Matthew 11 and I realised Jesus was calling me to Him again. My excuses couldn't get in the way - he even asks me 'Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out...? Then come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life.' Amazing words! Such a reminder of the value of my quiet times. Of the importance of making that time to connect with Jesus. To learn from him and listen to his quiet and gentle voice. For him to fill my heart and set its rhythm according to His heartbeat. Kind of like Hitch taking Albert back to the basics!

So, Satan, it's going to take much more than just your whispering nudges when I'm half awake to keep me from opening my Bible again. Whether I feel like it or not, I WILL start my mornings with Jesus.

And why? Because every relationship I know of takes work. And it takes those times of just putting yourself aside, and doing that thing that you don't really want to do, for the sake of the relationship between the two of you. And the cool thing is, I'm already looking forward to seeing and celebrating the difference in my life He's going to make!

Do you also struggle with finding that time to connect with God? What works for you?

Who is this King of Glory?

President Obama came to visit our little corner of the world yesterday.

I vaguely remember reading or hearing something last week about him coming by, but it wasn't until the helicopters flew over our heads that I realised he really was in town! Even cooler, in our neighbourhood!

But I never saw him. I know people who did. Who waited all afternoon for him to drive by. And they got a wave! All I experienced was slow-moving traffic and a very present police force on my drive to church. As in, at least two or three police vehicles and officers at every single junction on the way. Kind of spooky! But also exciting, to see how the whole area was at a standstill for a while. You could feel the hype and anticipation in the air and it caught me up, despite myself!

And then I was in church, singing out 'Hallalujah', when it struck me. The contrast between the visit of one of the present earthly 'kings' and the visit of Jesus, the true King. I stood looking around our smaller-than-usual  (I hope due to being out on mission or holidays rather than out waiting for Mr Obama) congregation and, compared to the eagerness and expectation of where I'd just left, it didn't match up.

As soon as I started comparing, more and more things started standing out to me. Like... all the security and planning going into making sure the US President's route was clear and safe versus Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey. Or even entering this world in a stable. And what about the big limo keeping the President at a distance, while Jesus was right there in the crowds and at the temple, involved with his people. And who knows what or how long the President's power will last, while Jesus has been given all authority on heaven and earth. I could go on...

I'm not saying anything against Obama, or his plans or visit. Or anyone's reactions to it.

But, it would be cool if there was as much excitement for us in our church services, wouldn't it? After all, we actually get to meet with the true King of all eternity! And he doesn't just drive by with a wave. He wants to be intimately involved in our lives. He wants to stop and hear from us about our day. He wants to share in our happiness and little achievements. He wants to carry us through our struggles and temptations. He wants to be in us and with us all the time! HA.LE.LU.JAH!!

Here's to a revival coming from re-realising the AWEsome truth of the King of Glory that we worship; the Son of God AND Son of Man!

Resurrection

I have a new favourite blogger.

While I have been not updating this blog I have been reading three years worth of her blog. It's awesome stuff. Well worth the read. And reread...

One of her posts brought my thoughts back to my own blog and what I originally intended it for before I came out here to South Africa. A place to share the things I've seen, heard and done on my walk with Jesus... As my tag line says, I wanted to be able to honestly share part of my own journey with anyone who was interested and could maybe appreciate or learn from my experience. I wanted this to be part of my God-given ministry to those who read or follow. I hoped that it would my own small, tiny way of building up the wider church.

But...I failed. And I only have myself to blame. I'm a terrible blogger. Just look at the meagre total of 19 posts in about 2 years for proof! And I realised a huge part of this is because that being the perfectionist that I am has kept me from sharing most of the time. I don't know if what I have to say is worth anything. Or if anyone will understand me or just think I'm crazy for thinking or saying things etc. etc. Or what if I change my opinion or learn a deeper meaning after I share something?? What I wrote the month or week or even day before looks stupid then. Doesn't it???

Well, I was challenged by Jamie and her post and blog in general. I find her honesty so refreshing and inspiring. It doesn't matter if what I write isn't perfect. I've never claimed it to be. But as long as it IS my story - my journey, my experiences, my reflections - it has value. Even if I am wrong...which by the way you are welcome to tell me!

So I am resurrecting this blog. And I plan to be a much better blogger. Because it's good to share.

It's interesting because today we spoke about Jesus being the resurrection and the life in devotions with the LifeXchange guys this morning. And one of them was talking about changing your choices from a WAY of death to a WAY of life. And we got to talk about the whole Now And Not Yet principle of life in Jesus. So, another reminder to myself of how I am not perfect now, but one day I will be!

I'll start (and leave you) with these thoughts from a recent quiet time of my own with God that I'd like this new beginning to be about:

 

Thank you Lord for fresh air.

Thank you for being able to breathe out the old, stale air of what I've been and done.

Thank you for being able to breathe in the slightly shockingly cold and clean air that smells like mountains and sea and Life.

Thank you for another fresh start. With You.



 

In the interests of sharing, let me know what you think. And what you're learning?

Ohhh...it's about relationship!

I am completely and staggeringly dumbfounded right now. I would say speechless, but that would be a lie since I’m writing this... But something I read in Francis Chan and Mark Beuving’s book ‘Multiply’ has blown my mind. Quite literally my thoughts are flying about inside my head making millions of connections and implications and applications. It’s awesome!

I’m sure what I just read is something I should have known by now in my walk of faith, but I guess I missed it along the way, and so this very moment is the time that my eyes have been opened to an amazing truth. I’m sharing it in case anyone else also missed this tiny detail that actually changes so MUCH!

So, Francis and Mark (I like to think we’re on first name terms) have been going through and explaining the main points of the Old Testament. Some interesting stuff, but mostly I’ve been reading going yes, I know that or yes, I remember learning that. Until… we get to God’s Covenant with Moses on Mount Sinai and the giving of the Law. I’ll try and summarise the point and not quote the whole two pages.

Basically, their point is that, the giving of the Old Testament law appears to be so that God’s people can be made right with Him by rule-keeping and good deeds. BUT that’s wrong: “there is nothing in the Law that tells the Israelites that they will receive ultimate salvation if they perfectly keep every aspect of the Law. In fact, the Law itself assumes that the Israelites will fail in keeping it – that’s why the sacrificial system was included… the Law was never intended to give the Israelites a moral ladder they could climb and thereby earn God’s favour by showing what good people they were. Instead, the Law was about maintaining a relationship with God. The Law solved the problem of how a holy God can bind Himself to a sinful people.”

That’s it. The slightest change in understanding that God’s people were never under the ‘saved by works’ kind of faith. The Israelites’ salvation (in a practical way) was already accomplished through the Exodus, and God was renewing and extending His covenant (following on from the one with Abraham) with this nation He called out, this time giving them more specific instructions on how they could continue in relationship with Him as His chosen people.

And it’s HUGE! Because, personally, I struggle with reconciling the freedom that we have in Christ and all the commandments that come up in the Bible; salvation by grace and faith versus salvation by works. But now I realise it’s not about salvation by works at all. Never was. It’s about the relationship. We are redeemed by Jesus’ sacrificial death and resurrection and have the opportunity to enter into a relationship with God through Him. And so the commandments that Jesus gave, and all the teaching in the New Testament is like the giving of the law in the Old Testament. It’s not about us working our own way to salvation, even though we already have been saved, it’s about us maintaining a relationship with God.

So I don’t need to keep trying harder to be perfect like Jesus. And then become crippled by the weight of guilt when I constantly let Him down. But I can feel upset about how my sinful nature (as highlighted in the New Testament) gets in the way of a relationship with my Father, the God of the Universe, my Lord and redeemer, Jesus Christ, and my comforter, the Holy Spirit as well as everyone else around me. And that my daily, hourly and second-ly sins keep my eyes from looking to Jesus and knowing His love for me so that it naturally overflows in my life to everyone and everything around me. And I can want to change that.

Simple, hey?! But life-changing I believe…